Guide to figuring out mama......
1. Mama will give in way before Dada. When Dada's gone, whine and stomp holding up your hands to get that one extra bit of chocolate. If she gives it to you, sweetly smile and say "dee do" as thanks. She'll fall for it and you can start the whole process over again for more chocolate.
2. Mama is really busy and will at times try to give you milk that is a bit suspect after passing it's expiration date. Don't panic, start by saying "hot" and just repeatedly push away the cup of milk and then say "juice". Mama will always give you juice, and dump out the milk.
3. Mama likes to soak up lots of cuddle time at night because she works all day. Don't fight her on this! You will not win!! Give in and play dead on her lap. Soon she will put you away to bed. You know it's almost over when she'll say in your ear, "you make the sun shine" or somethin like that....
4. Mama will clean the house obsessively at times. She will clean floors and constantly fold laundry. If you miss mama and want to spend some quality time with her, grab some clothes and get to work. There is nothing like folding dad's underwear with mama. If not, you'd better get used to playing with dolls or wrestling on the floor with dad.
5. Mama will travel out of town for work. The only way to communicate with her is by waving at airplanes and talking to her on the "hello?" Pressing lots of buttons on the "hello" makes mama extra happy. Give kisses and say things like "doggy" and "bye bye". The more you talk, the more presents and toys she'll bring home.
6. Get your needs met before going to sleep. There is no chance mama will hear your nighttime cries for a warm bottle, diaper change, or anything else. When mama sleeps, she goes into a coma and dada isn't very nice in the middle of the night. you must learn to keep your belly full, (see lesson 1) your "ni-night" wrapped around you and your "bi-bi" binky close by. Otherwise, it will be a long time till mornin.
Love Selena.
P.S. I'm tired of waiting for you.
1 comment:
Finally Joe, AKA "Selena" posted. Everything he/she said is very true. But there are a few tricks she has up her sleeve for dada also.
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