I have not talked about The Bachelor this season because well, nothing compares to Ed's shorts last season. But since I finally got around to watching Monday's show last night and it's fresh in my mind I thought I would recap some of my thoughts about this season's final three dates.
I was looking forward to Jake being the Bachelor, I thought for once a guy with a good head on his shoulders is going to get a chance. And he did really well up until the last few shows. The Bachelor has really been getting on my nerves. His girly phrases are starting to grate on me, as he said that their most recent setting of St. Lucia is "so mystical" everything is "amazing" and "the perfect place to fall in love." I would love to play a drinking game where whenever the word "amazing" was said you would have to drink. I would be drunk by the 1/2 hour mark I'll tell you that.
Gia was the first to get the romantic date, I really like this girl. Neerdy, awkward in her younger year and now a swim suit model, I love that ending. But is anyone else getting irritated by her laugh? It's reminiscent of Janice from Friends. Speaking of Friends, did you check out Jake dancing with Gia, it was like Chandler. After hanging with what Gia called "the natives," the two enjoyed the typical romp in the ocean, and then met later for dinner on the beach. While swinging in a hammock, Jake pulled out the ole fantasy suite invitation, and the one good thing I can say about Gia is she didn't sugar coat her acceptance likes some of the girls do. After touring what was an "amazing" suite, the two enjoyed a bath together, calling it the most romantic part of the evening...if you take the camera men leering at you out of the equation, of course.
Tenley was next, and her baby voice is hitting maximum irritation levels in my house. I wanted to turn down the volume just to be handle it. Jake took her up in the helicopter, and then they had a picnic in an area of the island that looked just like a scene from Lost. In her continually downward spiral as far as seeming like a cool girl, Tenley refuses to stop bringing up her ex in every sentence. After the picnic, the two enjoyed the standard dip in the ocean, and I'm not quite sure what happened, but Tenley called Jake a "naughty boy" in her baby voice at one point. I don't really understand why but whatever. That night, the two met up for dinner, and Tenley told Jake that she has put the the whole ex thing to rest, but it sure didn't sound like it. STOP talking about him! The only interesting thing about the date was that she of the almighty morals, Tenley, accepted the fantasy suite invitation. Of course, once they got there, she launched into her whole "This isn't something I just do" routine. Yada yada, yada... Then they proceeded to make out.
Vienna was last, I could have fast forwarded through the two other girls boring dates because as much as I've come to wince when she's on, I can't wait to hear what she is going to say next. Because I can't actually punch someone through the TV, I find myself feeling very helpless a lot of the time and there is a lot of eye rolling on my part. Jake took her on the boat they used in the The Pirates of the Caribbean. Jake put on an eye patch but the best part is that he didn't realize he had to keep the other eye open. Maybe he is not as smart as I thought or spending time with Vienna sausage has dumbed him up. They climbed the sail of the boat where they shared a kiss, and Jake said he sees a lot of himself in Vienna. I bet a lot of guys think the same thing. And proving that she is about as smart as a shovel, Vienna said "Him and I are very attracted to each other," calling the chemistry between them "BAM!" What was more disturbing was when it was time to "walk the plank" he spanked her on the bottom. I can't see him doing that to Gia or Tenley. At their dinner date that evening, Jake played a huge mind game with Vienna by asking her what kind of rings she liked but followed that up by telling her that he has fallen for both the other women as well. Looking defeted Vienna pulled out the only card she had left by telling Jake she loved him, and then of course accepted the invitation into the fantasy suite. She then changed into lingerie, and Jake continued to astound me by saying "She is just so sexy." When I heard this I thought, poor guy just needs glasses. What is he looking at? Well most likely her fake rack.
Well in the end Gia was sent packing which made me sad for her. She has got to be thinking "Vienna over me?" "Really?" But she left with dignity, did not bad mouth the other girls and pretty much secured her a spot on The Bachelorette next season.
Next week is Women Tell All where Rozelyn is going to tell her side of the cheating scandal, Oh snap!
Until next week...
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