Goal Setting blah blah blah

I was asked to do something at work today that I have never been asked to do, well at least not since elementary school. I was asked to set professional and personal short term and long term goals for myself. Okay, so in elementary school when I set my long term goal to be a monster truck driver this probably won’t work. I think more professional answers are needed.
You see I’m not a goal type person, I’m not one of those people that make a new years resolution because the fact I know I can’t keep it. I have ADD when it comes to setting and keeping goals. I’m not saying I’m not a driven person, I’m just not goal driven. I’m more of a task person like I will do a load of laundry tonight or I will get the mail or remember to pick Selena up at daycare. I am a creature of habit and setting goals goes beyond my "habit." I set daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly “tasks” at work but I know they are viewed as goals. So where to start? Well for one I would like to be independently wealthy and go on fabulous vacations and have a maid to clean my house and that’s just the short term. No really, where do I start. What I forgot to say was this was part of my quarterly review and a bonus was at stake. I never count a bonus as money I have or say “I’ll get a massage when I get my bonus” because that would be saying I already have the money when I don’t. So my bonus it a surprise each time I get it and I have never yet not got one each quarter but I don’t want to rely on money I don’t yet have. So back to the goals. I know my answers to the professional and personal goals will be the deciding factor on how my review goes and whether or not I get this bonus for which I will get a hot stone massage with and save the rest.
So as far as professionally I simply put down my quarterly tasks like better follow through, better time management and improve communication amongst other boring technical company terms. For personal I can’t just put “do a load of laundry,” I knew these needed to sound financially responsible and adult like which all of you know, outside of work I act like a total child. I was tempted to put down “Drive a monster truck” but this is Bellevue and that is totally looked at as trashy. So I put down some tasks that I have been meaning to do for months, do a will, get more involved in politics, read a business-related book (instead of OK Weekly) try to understand that darn 401K since social security won’t exist some day, and find out why the heck I can’t sleep at night. Okay so I didn’t put the sleep one down because saying I get 2-5 hours of sleep a night would sound as if I were crazy and a crazy person would not get a bonus. I listed them out so nicely in a great memo format hoping this is what is expected so I can get a message.
Well I can say my review went well and I got my bonus so now I can book my massage, and yes Joe I will book one for you too. I should have put down get OR plates for my car since it’s going on 4 years but my tabs expire anyway in Nov so I’ll just set that task for later.