I know if I told you to think back to a time in your childhood where you "stole" something you could think of at least one time. Hopefully not to many more though!
What happened with Selena on Saturday took me back to 1986. My dad and I went to Fred Meyer and were in the sporting goods section. I was looking through the colorful fishing bobber bins, they were all different sizes and colors like my marbles and they fascinated me. They fascinated me so much that I pocketed three of them. I knew it was wrong but like most good learning lessons you have to find that out the hard way. After getting home my dad discovered the bobbers in my pants pocket and we hopped right back into the car and I had to turn them back in to the store employee. How embarrassing! The most humiliating experience in my short life of 6 years.
Well I got to discover this first hand from the parents perspective last Saturday. I took Selena and Wade to the mall to pick up my Lyme meds at Target. While we were waiting I decided to pick up some new underwear at Victoria's Secret. Both Selena and Tally LOVE doing this with me and we do it about twice a year. They think it's funny that there is a store for underwear. I was buying my purchases and left the store, went back to Target and picked up my meds and out to the car. We stopped by The Rock to take pizza home for dinner and that is when Selena pulled out the 7 Victoria's Secret gift cards. I could tell by the look on her face that she knew it was wrong to take them and by the look on my face she thought she was going to jail. She thought a police man was just going to swoop in and haul her off and I would never see her again. She asked me if this was stealing and I said yes because it was not hers to take. She said she wanted to play "teacher" with her dolls and thought these would be fun. I didn't know teachers gave out underwear gifts cards...
After picking up the pizza I told her we were going to head back to the mall and she could return them. She broke down crying that the security was going to take her away to jail and "don't tell dad!" Well I'm going to have to explain to dad if you don't come home with me that you went to jail. Just kidding, I didn't say that. I asked her if she knew it was wrong and she said yes. I asked her why she thought she could take them and she said because at other stores she takes paper to write on. True. At the Target pharmacy she took a prescription pamphlet but I let her know the different and that she should not take anything unless she checks with me first. I told her about my bobber story which I though would make it better but did nothing to calm her nerves. And I guess it was a good thing that she felt bad, this is a life lesson that she needs to learn. I cannot make it hurt less, I cannot make the embarrassment go away, I can't smooth it over for her otherwise I would be an enabler and she would learn nothing. The gift cards would turn into lip gloss and then a t-shirt and could spiral out of control. This is her time.
As we walked into the mall I could see on her face how hard this was going to be. Her face was red, she looked like she could cry at any moment and kept repeating "I am soooo embarrassed." We walked into Victoria's Secret and up to the front counter. I stared down at Selena and I could tell she was struggling with what to say so I said "My daughter has something to tell you." Someone needed to speak up. Then Selena pulled out the gift cards and said "I took these and I'm sorry." She handed them to the lady and the lady said "Thank you for returning them. Did you learn something?" And Selena said yes. Still looking sad and embarrassed but I could tell it hit home. When we were back in the car I told her that I was proud of her for telling me and proud that she returned them. I also told her that she would need to tell dad. She didn't seem to like that idea much but I told her that on the ride home she would need to think of how to tell him. By the time we got home she said "Okay, I'm ready to tell dad."
Lesson learned.
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