January Doctor Visit: I will be calling my Lyme Doctor Dr. Bugs to protect her identity. The Lyme world is very secret with the small amount of doctors who treat.
Last time I had sat in this chair I was 6 months pregnant, hard to believe I now had a baby boy in the carrier perfectly healthy and negative for Lyme. It was January 2012 and I was sitting in Dr. Bugs office was she scribbled down my latest issues. Heart palpitations, night sweats, rash on my neck, floaters in my eyes and ansiety. To tell you the truth I had not felt this good since April 2011. I had suspected that Babesia Duncani was playing a huge roll and Dr. Bugs agreed. I was still on Amoxicillin and Zithhrommax since I was breastfeeding and hoping to until Wade was 6 months. Dr. Bugs proscribed Mepron and three other meds with long names for me to take as soon as I was done breastfeeding. Now I just needed to decide when enough was enough with the symptoms coming back for me to quit breastfeeding. Natalia had come with me to my appointment like she had done a handful of times before. With Dr. Bugs knowing my history of being pregnant with Natalia before I was treated she was always watching her, never once saying anything if she did suspect that she could be infected. Not until I brought it up this day. We had always suspected Lyme, with the issues during my pregnancy, all of her infections, the mood swings, the seizures, random rashes among the other “strange” behavior changes that we would document on the calendar. We always though it’s a possibility but never had the push to have her tested. With Wade in the clear and that being a huge relief we felt it was time to test her. Dr. Bugs handed me the IGeneX lab forms so that we could put our minds at ease once and for all. Now that I had the lab forms I felt like there was no rush to have her tested. I could do it on my terms when the time was right. Well Natalia helped hurry that time right along when a week later she acted out so violently I wanted to lock her in her room and drive away from the house. It was one of her worst behavior days and again it was heard for me to know if this was what I like to call “Lyme rage” or if it was her being 2 ½. After the screaming fits and throwing of things stopped 4 hours later she came to me and said “mommy I’m happy now!” I’m not sure where this saying came from but it is her way of telling us that she came out of the dark place she was in. Sometimes I wish I could see into her little brain to know what she is feeling or thinking during these completely irrational fits. The very next day I took her to get blood drawn and in three weeks we had our answer. “Jessica, its Dr. Bugs.” “Hey I wanted to let you know that Natalia tested positive.” My heart sank and I was elated all at the same time. Of course I wanted her to be negative but to know was the greatest joy at the same time. I had been back at work just three days after being on maternity for 10 weeks. All I wanted to do was go home and hug my little girl. I don’t wish this disease on anyone and knowing that this was what was keeping her from being such a happy child made me sick. I hated the medical field for being so very wrong about Lyme and all the co-infections, I hated Dr. Short (1st Dr. I saw) for telling me it’s all in my head, I hated Dr. Tall (2nd Dr. I saw)for telling me I would be fine after 30 days of antibiotics, I hated how now we had our answer and how helpless I felt because in the CDC’s eyes this cannot be passed from mother to child. Well there you have it. Now what?
Now what is I have finally had it and tomorrow will be my last day breastfeeding Wade. I'm only doing it twice a day anyway and he is mainly on formula. I am going to start taking my meds tomorrow which means I could be a zombie for the weekend but I have to hit bottom before I come back up. I have been on a steady decline for the last few months with a quick nose dive in the last three weeks. Natalia will officially see my doctor on April 6th and most likely her and I both will be on meds for a year. Oh the joys! At lease more and more in coming out about Lyme and ADHD, Lyme and Autism, Lyme and Lupus, Lyme and Parkinson's... I could go on and on about the links but I won't. Now I'll just post some fun pictures...
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