I have to tell myself that as I pump and dump today. You see my Lyme symptoms have been sneaking back in even though I'm on the same medication that seemed to keep them at bay since April 2011. It's been almost a year and what was working is no longer doing the trick. Time to hit it hard again with the good meds, dairy free and gluten free foods. So I am weening myself off of feeding Wade. Yes, it's me that is having a problem. I love breastfeeding him but I need to take care of myself and get better before I fall so far back to where I was in December 2010. I have been spacing out the feedings and only pumping twice at work and will cut that down to once at work next week. Feeding Wade in the morning and night and giving him a bottle of formula at all other times. He tested negative for Lyme and we would like to keep it that way. As I poured the milk down the drain at 9am and 2pm I felt a sense of loss. I am so in the mind set of packaging the milk in bags and putting in the fridge, saving every ounce of it for my baby boy so now just dumping it down the sink is foreign to me.
I picked up my meds yesterday to give me that extra push to stop feeding him but I know that it's not like a faucet I can turn off, I have to step down slowly. In the next two weeks I'll be done and I'll be back on my 26 pills a day diet.
Having Wade tested and him being negative was such a relief to us so we decided to have Natalia tested. We have had our suspicions for a while and well they turned out to be true. She tested positive for Lyme and Babesia and will see my doctor on April 6th. I'm happy that now we know but sad that she has had to deal with this. Good thing I already know a good Lyme doctor!
1 comment:
wow jess that's a lot to deal with. hang in there sweetie, looks like you have a good handle on it!
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