Monday, January 28, 2013

Yes, I'm still here...

It’s been a long time since I posted an update on here.  The holidays were busy, heck just life is busy.  I struggle to figure it all out and sometimes I just want it all to go away.  The laundry, the housework, the commute, the noise.  I’m not depressed but I’m not happy either. I feel like my emotions have been muted and that’s so strange for me. It’s also a big reason I haven’t written on here in so long. It’s hard for me to write when I don’t feel an urge to write. It’s also hard to know what to write because I struggle with how to explain things and then I just get frustrated and give up. BUT I know there are some very loyal family and friends who keep up with me by reading this and I wanted to report that I am indeed still here.  I have a Dr appointment tomorrow and I believe the main culprit in my mood is the antibiotic Mepron.  At first it was working but I notice a slow decline on my mood and ability to deal with life.  While no one notices at work, everyone notices at home. 

Natalia has been on Mepron for 4 months now and boy is she a tough on to handle on that stuff.  Little miss sweet disappeared and in her place was a monster.  Screaming, hitting, tantrums, biting... you  name it.  Getting in trouble at daycare daily.  Man, it's been hard to deal with.  She has been off Mepron for about 10 days and wow, such a sweet girl the real Tally is.  So loving and helpful.  It's hard to see her act out when really I know just what a great kid she is.  She is at that point where she does not want to take medication.  I totally understand, I'm tired of it also and it's a pain to remember hers, mine and all the dosing. 

Here's hoping that my meds will change for the better and I can get on with enjoying life. 

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